Does your dog get picked on at the dog park? Does he get bad report cards from dog daycare? Is he impossible to control when he sees another dog? Does your dog act aggressively to other dogs while on or off leash? The answer lies in canine social skills, or the lack thereof!

Dogs have social norms just as humans do. Dogs live in packs, and you and your family are your dog’s pack. As your dog’s leader, it is your responsibility to set the right guidelines, or your dog is likely setting your dog up for social failure – or worse, for a fight.  It is your job (not other dogs’ jobs) to meet your dog’s physical and psychological needs.  To do that, you must understand and expect appropriate social behavior from your dog.

Think of your dog’s behavior in two categories:  Anti-social and Socially Acceptable.

In the dog world, just like in the human world, socially acceptable behavior is vital for getting along well with others.  If you were at the grocery store, who would you want to be there with?  A bunch of weirdos who were threatening you with verbal abuse or weapons?  How about a bunch of really overly-friendly, huggy-touchy-feely-freaky folks you’d never met before? Or, would you rather be at a grocery store with people who were politely minding their own business?  
Perhaps if you saw the same group of people at the same grocery store over a period of weeks or months, you would become more interested in interacting with them.  But not that first time, correct?

Dogs, when meeting other dogs for the first time, need the same kind of space and distance you need at the grocery store.  

More importantly, your dog needs calm, assertive behavior from its pack leader.  If your dog sees that you are calm and assertive (you are in charge of how meetings and greetings go), your dog is much more likely to be calm and submissive – therefore avoiding conflict.  But, if your dog is being anti-social and you don’t do anything about it, chances are your dog will continue and even escalate its inappropriate behavior.  OR, if another dog is being anti-social, and you don’t do anything to protect your dog, your dog will have to also become anti-social to protect itself.  Pretty simple, right?

But what exactly do I mean by Anti-social behavior?  If your dog is nervous, insecure, fearful, anxious, tense, excited, territorial, dominant, obsessive, possessive, or aggressive when it meets other dogs, it is being anti-social!

Ok, so what is ‘Socially Acceptable’ canine behavior?  A dog who is being social, and that other dogs will usually see as being social, is a dog who is two things:  

1.calm,

2. submissive.  

Calm, submissive behavior is the only acceptable social behavior for your dog to exhibit when meeting another dog.  If your dog is doing anything else, it is your responsibility to stop the anti-social behavior.

How do you really know your dog is being anti-social?  Your dog speaks a language all its own.  Your dog uses body language more than anything else to express how it’s feeling.  Let’s take a look at some examples of canine body language of dogs who are both socially acceptable and those who are anti-social.

Step One:  Greetings

“Come a little closer” (Dogs doing these behaviors are interested in meeting the other dog or person politely.)

A dog with good manners:

– avoids a ‘hard stare’ or direct eye contact
– has a ‘soft eye’ – may be squinting or blinking
– hold its ears back softly
– lowers its body into a sitting or lying down position
– has a loose, low wagging tail
– mouth may be open and panting, or closed but relaxed
– has relaxed, loose muscles
– allows sniffing


More Good Manners  (Calming Signals & Appeasement…these dogs are giving signals to those around them to keep everyone calm and avoid conflicts)

A dog with good manners:

– approaches other dogs in an arcing pattern – they don’t rush in head-first!
– moves slowly
– avoids hard stare
– allows and does light inguinal sniffing
– turns head away from other dogs
– licks its own nose & lips repeatedly
– yawns at other dogs, or stretches slowly
– sniffs the ground
– sits or lies down
– rolls onto its back
– stands silently, gazing off
– takes a drink
– urinates/defecates
– grooms or scratches itself
– holds slow-motion play bow
– Two dogs with good manners sit quietly, shoulders turned to each  other


Appeasement (A dog doing these behaviors feels a bit uncomfortable and is trying to avoid conflict by calming itself and those around it.)

– sitting, making itself small
– tail held low and close to body, may wag
– ears held back softly
– averts gaze
– rolls onto back
– lifts one paw
– lip-licking


“I’m Over-excited”
An over-excited, anti-social dog has its hackles up and:

– is bouncing off people, other dogs, and objects, but not really interested in them or their reactions
– is vocalizing loudly, excitedly, or frantically


“Back Off!”
A dog who is upset and needs distance:

– has dilated eyes, with the whites showing

-A dog who is upset and needs distance has its ears pulled back tensely and tightly against its head
– may have its hackles up
– has tense body muscles
– has its tail held low and tight against body
– may be snarling, baring its teeth (teeth often close together, lips drawn back)


“I’m Tough!”
A dog who is looking for conflict:

– is staring directly at another dog or person
– holds its ears erect, or held tensely back
– has its hackles up
– has a stiff wagging tail, held straight out, up high, or even arched over back
– may be leaning forward
– does a stiff-legged, prancing gait with an arched neck
– will ‘T-off’ (T-ing off means putting its chin or front paws over the shoulders of
another dog.)
– exhibits freezing & body tension, with direct hard stare

– escalates with baring of teeth & forward momentum

If your dog is doing any of the above ‘over-excited,’ ‘I’m tough,’ or ‘back off!’ body language, you must intervene and teach it to behave appropriately.  Do not attempt to do this without instruction from a professional.

Step Two:  Play

Good Play

Dogs playing appropriately:

– will often play bow (stretching front legs forward, rump in the air
– have a balance between top and bottom wrestling positions
– use low intensity vocalizations
– display open-mouth play biting
– will play ‘tag’ or chase games (with or without toys)
– will keep ‘four on the floor’ (all four feet on the floor, unless they’re wrestling,
with one dog on its back)

Bad Play

Dogs who are playing inappropriately:

– will try to control all of the play
– won’t quit when other dog wants to
– use mounting behavior (climbing on other dogs)
– box with their forepaws
– slam chests
– run into and body slam each other
– place chin or front legs over other dog’s shoulders

If your dog is doing any of the above ‘bad play’ behaviors, you must intervene and teach it to play appropriately.  Do not attempt to do this without instruction from a professional.